You have tried to meet your goals time and time again. There are several things you’ve accomplished, but they seemed like no brainers, like finishing school, or getting a job. Other things, like living the life you want, stopping anxiety, eating healthy, loosing weight, seem to be just out of reach.
Despite your best efforts, every time you try, you just can’t quite meet these goals. You think “this is impossible; I’m just incapable of…”
Unfortunately, when we live life believing we are incapable of something, it frequently turns out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. We sabotage our efforts before we even begin.
The downsides to sabotaging our goals before we begin are pretty obvious. However, there are other downsides to not trying again using different ideas or techniques. Some of these downsides include feeling hopeless in other aspects of our lives, being a “negative Nancy” and other’s not wanting to be around us as much, having a “glass is half empty” attitude, and more.
Maybe it is not this drastic for you, but perhaps you’ve noticed some of the above, even if it is not frequently or too strong.
Why can’t I be successful with my goals? I have done so much research and hear all these success stories, but it doesn’t seem to work for me. I don’t think I’m going to put my eggs in this basket and create goals to live the life I really want anymore.
At the time you say this to yourself, it may seem like a good idea. You’re not setting yourself up for failure. Or you believe you’re being more realistic. If you don’t think you’re capable of succeeding, why fail at it? If you don’t do anything to change it, you’re not failing.
Unfortunately, all this does is keep you stuck. When we live life without setting goals, we stop growing and become stuck.
Eventually we wind up in a deeper hole (such as what I mentioned above) and feeling pretty hopeless. You are completely normal for not wanting to change (but wanting to at the same time). This conflict happens to all of us and is a function of our brain wanting to go the easy route for safety’s sake.
It’s true that you may have struggled to succeed with your goals in the past and are feeling unsure whether it is worth another try. However, if we can learn a few realities in conjunction with a few tips located at 7 Tips to Making 2019 a Great Year, we can take control of our brain and live the life we dream of. When we understand something, we are able to use that knowledge to fuel ourselves into our dream lives.
Keep reading for 3 realities to meeting your goals in 2019
The biggest downside to not meeting your goals is the negative feeling you get about yourself and the idea of setting goals. It can impact so many aspects of your life. Even if you don’t think you care; “ah well, I forgot about that goal. I’ll try again sometime” your brain holds this as a failed attempt.
At the very least you find yourself in the same place you were in last year…and the year before…and not where you want to be in life.
It may not seem like a big deal, but it can build frustration, guilt, and negative feelings over time. It is important to remember that the brain holds “negative” experiences with a vice grip and positive ones with kid gloves so it can protect you from getting hurt in the future.
Although you struggle with meeting goals and may not be sure you even want to put a huge effort into goals or 2019, you have the potential to meet these goals and more.
When we choose to focus on our goals, we build positive experiences in our brain and the reward center of our brain activates each time a goal is met. The reward center of our brain is very influential as well; when something is good, we want to repeat that action to get that feeling.
You have the ability to meet every goal you have and more. You have a new opportunity every day to take a few things into account when you set your goals and see the goals come to reality for you.
3 REALITIES TO MEETING YOUR GOALS AND ACHIEVING WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED IN LIFE
Yes it’s true you may think that this won’t work. What will keeping a few reality points in mind do to help me meet my goals? The truth is, it matters quite a bit. Even though these realities may seem obvious, without keeping them at the front of the mind, it is easy for them to get forgotten and for us to lose track of our goals.
Using these realities when thinking about meeting your goals is not as difficult as you think because the realities are known. We already know what these are. By keeping them at the front of our goal planning, we set ourselves up to remember them, thus doing better at sticking with our goals.
Take a look at these 3 Realities to see how you can achieve your goals in 2019
Do you remember the 7 Tips for making 2019 a great year? Gratefulness, ranking how well you did with what was important to you this year, choose one aspect of your life you want to improve on next year and ask yourself why several times to get to the root, set your goal, set your rewards and accountability, keep your goal sheet in view, and review your goal daily.
These three realities may seem obvious, but they are exceptionally important to pair with the seven tips from 7 Tips to Making 2019 a Great Year (also outlined above). Putting them together will vastly improve your odds at meeting your goals.
Don’t do what you’ve always done. Do something different this year. Something that has more power behind it. Something that will yield you the results you are looking for.
Reality 1: You will want to do old behaviors
Change is an unknown in the brain. Unknowns are scary and difficult to accept. Unknowns can come with several potential hurts. Remember that the limbic system in the brain does not distinguish between real, perceived, emotional and physical danger. Unknowns fit very nicely in the perceived danger category. Therefore, we want to do what we currently are, even if it is not healthy.
One of the first things I do with my clients is help them understand what is happening in their brain. This education is often very helpful for my clients to be able to push through the unknowns and continue with their goals.
When you know what is going on in the limbic system and recognize that you will want to do old behaviors, it makes it easier to sticking with the seven tips (especially in conjunction with tip number 5 found at 7 Tips to Making 2019 a Great Year).
Reality 2: You will not meet your goal overnight
This is probably the most obvious reality of all. However, I truly believe that this warrants repeating over and over and over. We often lose sight of this reality, especially when we don’t see results quickly.
In a world where everything happens at the push of a button, it is getting more and more difficult for us to delay gratification. We need to put this in perspective every single day and remind ourselves of this.
Small progress is progress and sometimes we will not even see the small results immediately. So how will you maintain motivation to keep going? (Hint: Look back at tip number 6 of 7 Tips to Making 2019 a Great Year).
Together with my clients, I help them stay focused on their goals, using the tips and resources at hand to remind them why they are doing what they’re doing and what they will expect to see when the goal is met.
Adding this reality to your mindset when setting and following through with goals will make it possible for you to keep pushing, even when you don’t want to any more. It will make you more likely to continue to push through.
Reality 3: You can do anything you set your mind to
The brain is an amazing organ. In some ways we are set to survival, and in other ways we are set to progress. We have the ability to do great things, and we have the ability to do terrible things. We have opportunities that other species on the planet do not.
There are so many stories about people finding success where it didn’t seem possible. From people meeting physical goals despite severe medical problems to 20 year olds becoming millionaires.
One thing that everyone who succeeded at something had in common was the drive to keep going no matter what. They knew what they wanted and they pushed until it became a reality. It was no easier for them than it will be for you.
But they did it. And so can you.
When you set your mind to your goal and decide that you are going to reach that goal no matter what, it puts you ahead of the game from the start. With this mindset, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Take a look at Tip number 7 from 7 Tips to Making 2019 a Great Year. This tip will help ensure your mindset is where you want it to be.
Achieving your goals is not easy. Nobody claims that change is easy or quick. Sometimes it isn’t even fun at first. However, by keeping these realities in mind and using them in conjunction with the 7 Tips to Making 2019 a Great Year, nothing is out of your reach.
You may even find that you start to enjoy the changes you see in yourself. This is a great time to use Tip number 1 from 7 Tips to Making 2019 a Great Year.
You absolutely can make 2019 a year of crushed goals (in a positive way)! You are in the driver’s seat of your life and Meg Young, LCSW, PLLC can help keep that car on the track (or road) if you find yourself needing a bit of additional encouragement.
Let’s make 2019 an unforgettable year. Let’s make 2019 a year of commitment to goals, feelings of gratitude, and balance in a world which often feels unbalanced. You have everything you need to make this happen for you.
Whatever your goal is, wherever you are in life, we all want similar things: To be happy, to be healthy, to be comfortable (financially, physically, etc), and to enjoy life. One of the best ways to make this happen is to be the driver of your life. Control what you can to get what you want (in a healthy, appropriate, safe way). Be in control of you and your life.
Call me today to schedule your appointment. Goals can be started at any time of the year, but why not get started today?
As long as things go well, you will be here 365 days from now. Where do you want your life to be at that point? Do you want to be where you currently are? Do you want something to change? Even if you are very happy with your life, I challenge you to find something to grow with. Something to improve you and your life. Don’t get stuck feeling content.
Never stop learning, never stop growing. As living things stop growing, they wither and die. Even if you are happy, challenge yourself to grow in some way in your life. It could be something that only you will know has changed, and that is ok. As long as you keep growing and finding new goals.
I look forward to hearing from you and helping you along your path. I can be reached at 941-462-4807.